"The Silent Epidemic" You'd Be Surprised At What Teens Are Sending—and What You Can Do About It"
- PastorMark
- Jan 31
- 6 min read
The bell rings, class lets out and students flood the hallways. After being stuck in class for 50 minutes there are a lot of words being exchanged, laughter floats above the sound of footsteps and conversation is a dull roar. In all of that are the unspoken words passed from students in neatly folded notes with a pull tab or heavily creased folds with a name written on the outside.
These notes were the primary avenue for conversation between two people that were dating or maybe a flirting couple prior to the question: Will you go with me? Ha! Say that to your kids and they'll put their shoes on. In the digital age of communication teens can have long, intimate conversations from the privacy of their bedrooms with no long phone cord to obstruct the hallway or an impatient sibling waiting to make a call. The issue is what's being "said" or sent in the privacy of a snap-chat streak.
On social media, these platforms allow private messages and the ability to send pictures and videos. Unfortunately, these features are often misused in ways that many teens don’t fully grasp the implications of using them. To be clear, nearly every social media app offers private messaging, but Snapchat and Instagram are particularly common among teens for sharing images. The combination of fleeting messages and an environment that feels “private” often leads to risky behaviors.
Why Does This Matter?
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our heart includes what we dwell on, what we choose to look at, and the relationships we foster. In today’s world, our kids are being pulled into a culture where their hearts and minds are constantly under pressure. It’s important to have these conversations early on. Get ahead of the struggle.
A recent study by the Pew Research Center found that 95% of teens have access to smartphones, and 45% report using them almost constantly. While screen time, online harassment, and cyberbullying are significant concerns, there’s also an alarming rise in teens sending and receiving inappropriate images.
Here are some stats that may surprise you:
1 in 7 teens admit to sharing inappropriate images.
1 in 4 teens report receiving them.
In 2018, CBS News called this behavior the “new relational norm.”
As parents, it’s tempting to think, “Not my kid!” And you might be right—but having awareness and preparation can make all the difference if you ever find yourself in a tough conversation about these issues.
The Silent Epidemic
Kristin and I have spoken to countless devastated parents—sometimes in tears, sometimes in disbelief—saying, “I never thought I’d have to deal with this.” Sadly, the numbers are far higher than we’d like to think, but most parents avoid talking about it out of perceived shame.
Let me be clear: this isn’t about bad parenting or neglect. It’s the product of a culture where teens don’t fully understand the dangers and consequences of digital intimacy. In a world where nearly everything is online, privacy is rare, and sacredness feels almost nonexistent.
The Bible reminds us in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Helping our kids avoid conforming to the cultural norm requires us to have hard, honest conversations. With the platforms that are now being used and popular it’s easy for these apps to go unmonitored or for us to think that it’s no big deal. If you check out our blogpost about the sexualization of our daughters it may give you a deeper look at “why” this matters more than you think.
How to Spot the Signs
If you’re worried your teen might be sharing or receiving inappropriate images, here are a few behaviors to watch for:
Secrecy: Turning away while using their phone or hiding their screen.
Phone anxiety: Being overly attached to their phones or devices.
Deleting histories: Trust but verify. Check if they’re erasing messages or activity.
Defensiveness: Getting upset or overreacting when you pick up their phone.
Friend changes: New social connections that include risky behavior online.
Emotional shifts: Crying, isolating, or changes in grades, which could result from bullying or exposure to inappropriate content.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. There is usually a good reason that things feel off. Remember your goals isn't to BUST THEM. It's to help them, to lead and guide them. Don't overreact.
Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Part of this training involves helping them navigate the digital world with integrity.
What Should You Do?
Here’s how you can respond and guide your teen if inappropriate online behavior becomes a concern:
Have an honest conversation. Don’t accuse them; instead, ask questions to understand their perspective. Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) to keep the conversation open and free from shame. Also, keep it brief unless they keep the conversation going.
Review their phone activity. You’re not invading privacy—you’re teaching responsibility. Remind them that nothing sent digitally is truly private (Luke 8:17).
Teach them their worth. Help them see that being valued for their body isn’t the same as being cherished. Remind them of Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Being valued for your body, isn’t respect or the true affection she’s looking for.
Discuss consequences. Share the legal ramifications of sharing or receiving explicit images, such as being charged with possession or distribution of child pornography if anyone involved is under 18.
Reinforce biblical values. Teach them that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Purity matters—not because they’re “damaged goods” if they fail, but because God’s design for their future is worth protecting.
Why Teens Share Images
According to the Pew Research Center, teens engage in this behavior for a variety of reasons:
As a “first step” before becoming sexually active.
To show interest in someone they like.
Due to peer pressure, especially for girls, who may feel they have to send images to gain approval.
As a form of experimentation, without understanding the potential fallout.
At its core, this behavior often stems from confusion about identity and a deep need for belonging. In a world where value is measured in likes, streaks, and comments, it’s easy for teens to believe their worth depends on how others perceive them. Social media amplifies this by creating a constant comparison trap—who’s prettier, funnier, or more popular.
But this pursuit of approval comes at a cost. Teens are often unaware of the long-term consequences of sharing explicit images, not only to their reputation but also to their emotional and spiritual health. Many don’t realize that these choices can create feelings of regret, shame, and anxiety later.
That’s why Galatians 1:10 offers such an important reminder: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” It’s a powerful question that cuts through the noise of social pressure and redirects us to where our true value lies.
Teens need to be reminded—again and again—that their worth isn’t tied to the fleeting approval of others. It’s rooted in something far deeper: their identity in Christ. They are already loved, already chosen, and already valued by the Creator of the universe. Helping them grasp this truth can empower them to resist the pressure to conform to cultural norms and instead live confidently as children of God.
Our role as parents, mentors, and youth leaders is to guide them toward this truth. Conversations about identity, worth, and the dangers of image-sharing can’t just be one-time talks. They must be ongoing, filled with grace and honesty, so teens can feel supported and encouraged to make wise, God-honoring choices.
The Bigger Picture
Research shows that sharing explicit images has long-term effects. Teens who engage in this behavior are:
4x more likely to experience physical violence as adults.
2.5x more likely to face sexual abuse.
3.5x more likely to endure psychological abuse in future relationships.
This behavior sets a dangerous precedent, teaching teens to objectify others and normalize unhealthy dynamics. Philippians 4:8 provides a clear guideline for navigating these challenges: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Encouragement for Parents
This is a tough subject, but you’re not alone. Kristin and I are here to support you in navigating these conversations. We’ve walked with many parents through this process, and we understand how overwhelming it can feel. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out to us.
Remember: this isn’t about being a perfect parent. It’s about being a present one. Your influence and guidance are more critical than ever in a world where teens desperately need clarity, boundaries, and the hope of God’s truth.
Christian Articles about the Sexual Revolution
Cultures Sexualization of Our Children:
The sexual revolution check it out HERE
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