“What Most Moms Carry That No One Talks About”

She Sees It All (And That’s Why She’s Tired):

A Tribute to the Women Who Help Keep the World Turning

She said she had eyes in the back of her head. I believed her.

As a kid, I was sure my mom had some kind of superpower—she always knew when something was off, even before it happened. Of course, as I became a parent, I realized what she really meant: she could sense everything. While I possess this ability, my wife has it on level of a Marvel Superhero. Whether it’s tension in a room. The lie behind a forced smile. The forgotten food rotting under a kids bed… from the other side of town.

My wife has the ability to tell when something is off or when our kids are lying. We have had many conversations about what all it has taken to be a mom and even pastor’s wife for the past 26 years and one thing  I have become acutely aware of is that all of it has been incredibly exhausting – the noticing, then the explaining, then the doing something about it because, if she didnt t find the sippy cup full of what now looks like cottage cheese, or remember the cupcakes for the class party, who will?

Nobody, that’s who.

There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from running marathons or pulling all-nighters—it comes from seeing everything and carrying it quietly. And I don’t mean just noticing socks on the stairs or that the dog’s water is out…again—I mean seeing people. Seeing needs. Sensing burdens. Bearing invisible weight that moms carry constantly.

And that kind of tired? That kind of tired is sacred.

I’ve watched it unfold in the life of my wife—and if you’re a mom, maybe it’s your story too. She doesn’t talk about it much. She doesn’t write posts about it. But I see it: the noticing, the fixing, the gentle recalibrating of everyone else’s world while rarely having space to recalibrate her own.

It was never more evident than on Mother’s Day this year. After church, she quietly stepped away—not to be celebrated, but to serve. It was our first time celebrating with all three moms, and she made sure it wasn’t just another day. She made it thoughtful. She made it meaningful. While others received rest and recognition, she gave—again. Not loudly, not for applause, but because that’s who she is. Always noticing, always giving, always holding things together in ways that often go unseen.

What I’ve discovered is that there’s no “off switch” for her. Even on so-called days off (like camping on vacation) she’s preparing meals, researching local ice cream joints and pizza places. What makes this different from dads task-oriented goings on is that  it’s not about perfection—it’s about presence. She is present even when she’s exhausted. Present when she’d rather be sleeping or scrolling or just being. And when something gets missed (rare as that is), she carries that too.

It’s not overthinking. It’s mothering.

Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

But here’s the thing—I think sometimes moms are too busy holding everyone else’s burdens to come and lay down their own. And maybe that’s where husbands, dads, and friends need to step in—to notice the noticers, to lift up the lifters, and to speak life to the life-givers.

I’ve seen my wife carry what the world doesn’t see. I’ve seen her handle a thousand details—Thanksgiving and Christmas menus, Chuck E. Cheese birthdays, and last-minute meals for drop in guests—all with grace. She’s not alone in this. I know many moms—especially stay-at-home moms—who don’t punch a time clock but still never stop working. Who juggle emotional logistics no one applauds. Who run the hidden marathon of motherhood every day.

To every mom reading this—especially those who are home during the day, setting rhythms and wiping tears—your work matters. It might not show up on pay stubs or public recognition, but it shows up in the safety your children feel, in the stability of your home, in the trust they’ll carry into adulthood.

Your labor is not in vain. Paul reminds us,

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

He was speaking to a weary church, encouraging them to keep loving, keep serving, keep sowing even when it feels thankless—because God promises there is a harvest. Moms, especially, live this kind of faithful sowing every day. You pour out when no one’s looking, and God sees every drop.

You might feel unseen. But you are not unimportant.

I’ve learned something from watching my wife mother: She sees first. And she steps in before others even realize there’s a need. That’s what makes her such a gift to our family. That’s what makes all moms heroes—quiet, faithful, behind-the-scenes heroes.

And beyond our home, she serves the church in ways that often go unnoticed but are deeply felt. She tirelessly ensures ministry details are in place, offering wisdom in planning, compassion in follow-up, and a steady presence when chaos hits.

She counsels girls in our student ministry with patience and grace. She walks alongside moms, grandmas, and wives in crisis—not with judgment, but with hope. And without needing credit or applause, she quietly safeguards our marriage. Sometimes she’s included on text messages—not because there’s distrust, but because we’ve built our ministry on integrity, and she stands watch with me, never behind me. She reflects what Paul describes in Philippians: doing nothing out of selfish ambition, but in humility considering others above herself. She’s not looking for attention—she’s looking for what others need, and then stepping in to serve it. And as Proverbs reminds us, “Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” She refreshes constantly. And I pray often that God would refresh her in return.

So to the women who carry the invisible load…

To the ones who remember the snacks, the appointments, and who left their favorite toy at Grandma’s house…

To the ones who feel stretched thin, but keep pouring out anyway…

We see you. We thank God for you. And we honor the call you carry.

Because what you’re doing? It’s holy work.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue… Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:25–28).

We rise. And we call you blessed.