When Social Media Becomes a War Zone, Who Leads the Way?”

"Ask Them What They Saw"

This past week, millions of people were confronted with disturbing, violent images on their social media feeds. Many didn’t go looking for it, it was just there, auto-playing at the top of their screen, or dropped into their DMs or Discord by a friend without warning. Between the moment he was shot and the moment his death was announced, at least 11 million people had already watched the video.

For many young people, this wasn’t the first time. Videos of shootings, bombings, stabbings, and other tragedies  among political figures and even school shootings alike have circulated online with alarming regularity. It feels like our kids are being pushed through a digital war zone with no training or guidance. And when something shakes them to their core, they’re often left to try and process it alone. In these moments, they aren’t surrounded by steady voices of comfort, but by a swirl of confusion and  commentary.

The Collective Mental Shock

I’ve been reading articles since Covid about how trauma affects people…not just soldiers on the battlefield, but anyone confronted with violence. Veterans Affairs psychologist Jonathan Shay, in his book Achilles in Vietnam, explains that post-traumatic stress isn’t only about what you see. It’s also about what happens afterward. When people in authority fail to step in, fail to name evil for what it is, and fail to help others process it, the wound cuts even deeper. He calls this a “moral injury” and it devastates becsaue human beings are wired to look for  parents, leaders and even teachers to help us make sense of the darkness we’ve just witnessed.

War correspondent Sebastian Junger pushes the point further in his book Tribe. He argues that exposure to violence without resilience training and without a strong, cohesive community is one of the strongest predictors of PTSD, sometimes even stronger than prolonged combat itself. That helps explain why intelligence officers and drone operators, who rarely face physical danger, often suffer PTSD at higher rates than those who fought on the front lines. It isn’t just the violence…it’s the isolation. (Reread that last line). We sometimes need a collective place to expereince this grief.

This isn’t just affecting teens. Parents feel it too. Many of us scroll through our feeds, trying to catch up on the news, only to stumble across something horrifying. We feel shock, anger, and a deep, helpless fear—because we can’t undo what our kids have seen, and we’re not always sure how to help them process it. We feel raw emotionally, not only because the images themselves are disturbing, but because we recognize the weight our children are carrying, often alone. We know they’re seeing things they shouldn’t have to, and we know the world we hoped to shelter them from isn’t so easily controlled.

Before we respond, we need to remember: we follow Jesus. We seek the Lord above any political figure, above any musician, above any influencer. His name is above all names, and His guidance is what shapes our hearts, our words, and our actions. That’s what burdens me about what our teenagers, and their parents, are facing. They’re not just scrolling past images, they’re stepping into moments that may echo in their lives for years.

But there is hope and there are things we can do right now to step into the storm instead of letting it sweep us away. Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 3:31 not to envy violent people or follow their ways. In a world that too often glorifies destruction, God calls us to stand apart, to protect life, and to speak truth and peace. But what does that look like in real life, when our screens and our feeds are flooded with violence, and our hearts are raw?

Here’s how we can respond, as parents and mentors:

For families together:

• Commit to regular conversations about what you see online. Don’t wait for shocking events to prompt discussion—make it part of weekly life.

• Set intentional boundaries for social media exposure, and review them together. It’s not about shielding; it’s about teaching discernment.

• Pray together over what you’ve seen, acknowledging the fear and confusion honestly before asking God for peace, wisdom, and courage.

This isn’t a one-time fix. The digital war zone will show up again and again, and the images, videos, and stories may surface in memory long after they first appear. But each time, you have a choice: step into fear or step into care. Step into helplessness or step into action. Step into despair or step into hope.

Every small, intentional act—asking, listening, praying, pausing before sharing, speaking life instead of amplifying violence—adds up. It creates a culture of courage, clarity, and compassion that resists the world’s chaos. It protects our kids, strengthens parents, and nurtures a community that refuses to let violence define us.

For parents and guardians:

1. Ask, don’t assume. Open the conversation gently: “Did you see something on social media that upset you?” or “How did that make you feel?” Let your teen speak without interrupting. Often, just being heard is the first step toward healing.

2. Sit with the discomfort. We want to fix things for our kids immediately, but sometimes our presence matters more than answers. Show them that you can handle the emotional weight together.

3. Provide context—but don’t over-explain. Teens need help making sense of the violence they witness, but long lectures or political debates can overwhelm them. Focus on moral clarity: life is precious, violence is never something to celebrate, and God’s ways call us to protect and honor life.

4. Create safe spaces. Your home, a small group, or even a quiet dinner table can be a refuge—a place where emotions, fear, and confusion can be shared without judgment.

5. Model resilience. How you respond teaches your kids how to respond. When you pause, process, and choose life-affirming action, you are equipping them to do the same.

For teens:

1. Talk to a trusted adult. You don’t have to carry the weight of what you’ve seen alone. Share your questions, fears, and confusion with someone who can guide you.

2. Pause before sharing. Ask yourself: “Does this help or harm someone else? Am I spreading fear or hope?” Choosing not to share violent content is a small but powerful act of courage.

3. Anchor yourself in faith. Pray, read Scripture, or lean on God’s guidance. Even when the world feels dark, He calls us to stand for life, not destruction.

4. Choose courage in action. Acts of compassion, defending someone being hurt, or simply speaking a word of truth when others celebrate cruelty are small ways to push back against violence in the world.

5. Engage community. Surround yourself with peers, small groups, or mentors who reinforce life, hope, and resilience. Being part of a caring tribe is what builds strength in the midst of trauma, just like Sebastian Junger points out in Tribe.

Your call to action starts now:

• Tonight, ask your teen—or a younger sibling—what they’ve seen and how it made them feel. Sit with them through their emotions.

• Pause before sharing violent content online and challenge friends to do the same.

• Commit as a family to weekly conversations about what you’re seeing online and how it affects your hearts.

• Actively point your children to God’s Word, prayer, and your community when fear and confusion threaten to take hold.

When we do these things, we are choosing life. We are choosing truth. We are stepping into God’s call to care, even in the middle of a world that often glorifies destruction.