"Is Your Teen Ready for Social Media? 5 Must-Know Tips Before You Say Yes!"

PastorMark
Jan 27
5 min read

Updated: Jan 30

Is My Teen Ready for Social Media? Teens credit social media for helping to build stronger friendships and exposing them to a more diverse world, but they express concern that these sites lead to drama and social pressure

“A recent Gallup poll revealed that on average, adults checks their smartphone hourly, if not every few minutes. That number is even higher among teens. Our attachment to smart phones is so strong that 63 percent of people actually sleep with their phone right next to them.” (1)

Is My Teen Ready for Social Media?

Teens often credit social media with helping them build stronger friendships and exposing them to a broader world, but many also express concerns about how these platforms lead to drama, comparison, and social pressure. So, how do we navigate the decision of when (or if) to let our teens step into the world of social media?

This question is one every family must answer prayerfully, guided by wisdom and discernment. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Social media, like any tool, has the potential for both good and harm. Our role as parents is to guide our kids in using it wisely and in ways that honor God.

The Pull of Social Media

The numbers are staggering: studies show adults check their smartphones hourly, if not more frequently, and that figure is even higher for teens. Many sleep with their phones, and some studies indicate that simply anticipating a notification releases dopamine, creating a cycle of addiction. The struggle is real—for us and our kids.

Philippians 4:8 gives us a blueprint for how we should focus our minds: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Social media often distracts us from this mindset. It’s designed to keep us hooked, not necessarily to help us live more Christ-centered lives.

The Positive Potential

It’s important to acknowledge that social media, when used appropriately, can have benefits. Teens can use it to maintain connections, explore new ideas, and even engage with global issues from a biblical perspective. For example, it can provide a platform for raising awareness about causes they care about or sharing their faith in meaningful ways.

Friendship is also a God-given blessing. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Social media can help teens stay connected to healthy friendships that encourage and support them if it's used properly.

However, digital connections should never replace real-life relationships. It's a tough battle to fight, but our students aren't going to always see church as a positive thing. That's not really news, we didn't either. I would gently ask that we apply the same principle that we do for soccer or volleyball. For the good of the teen adn the for the good of the community that we dont really make skipping church an option.

The Risks of Overuse

The downsides are significant. Studies show that excessive media multitasking (like scrolling social media while streaming videos and doing homework) correlates with increased stress and depressive symptoms. Teens often feel the pressure to keep up with posts, likes, and comments, which can lead to anxiety, comparison, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Psalm 139:14 is a vital reminder here: "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Our kids need to be reminded that their worth comes from their Creator, not from the number of likes on their latest post.

Practical Steps for Parents

If you decide to allow social media, here are some steps to consider for helping your teen navigate it responsibly:

Start SmallLimit their access to one platform initially. Avoid apps that allow for anonymous posting, as these often foster bullying and inappropriate behavior. Keep the lines of communication open and teach them that trust is earned over time.
Teach Online SafetyProverbs 14:15 says, "The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps." This is critical advice for online interactions. Teach your teens to guard their hearts and minds by being cautious about who they connect with and what they share.
Monitor Usage Recent research suggests that teenagers who know their parents are monitoring their social media interactions tend to be less distressed by online conflict. Having your support—and at times your help—as a safety net can be somewhat of a relief to young teens, even if they may roll their eyes at you about it in person. However, try to restrain yourself from lurking every day at every move they make, and refrain from mentioning in person everything you see online. Remember as well, now that they have an online presence they will be more aware of what YOU are posting about them and may even be more sensitive to it.
One helpful feature on Instagram is the "eyeglass" or discover tab. You can allow Instagrams algorithm to let you know what type of content your student (or even you) deem as important. They gather information on posts that have been liked and suggested New content based on that info. (Lot's of dog videos and Bible posts on mine. lol) If you DO discover some content you don't think is appropriate, remember, DON'T FREAK OUT. You don't want to shut down conversation before it has a chance to begin and once you over react its hard to "un-do" what they expect will happen in the future.
De-emphasize 'Likes'Help your teen understand that their value doesn’t come from digital affirmation. Remind them (and model for them) that what matters most is their identity in Christ. Galatians 1:10 challenges us: "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?"
Encourage Real-Life ConnectionBe intentional about creating opportunities for face-to-face interaction. Whether it’s family dinners, church youth events, or sports teams, help your teen build relationships that foster accountability and mutual encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

A Hybrid Approach

For our family, the Elliott's, we decided on a hybrid approach: allowing limited social media use while encouraging in-person connections. We also set practical boundaries, like only allowing access over Wi-Fi, which required them to plan their usage.

We’ve also leaned into the tension that comes with parenting in this digital age. Instead of avoiding tough conversations, we’ve used them as opportunities to guide our kids and point them to Christ. Social media is not the enemy—it’s a tool that needs to be managed carefully. Lots of late night convos and check ins to do "heart checks" as well. This one-on-one time at bed gave us an opoprtunity to see, in person for ourselves, how their hearts were. It's easy to hide in a bunch of 10 second converstaions through out the day, but that sitting on the edge of their bed requires som planning and being patient on OUR PART to check in on them and to feel out their hearts. Yes, it absolutely matters. Kristin did this beautifully on most nights and on the other nights, I tried to do the same.

Psalm 127:3 calls children "a heritage from the Lord," and as parents, we’re entrusted with the sacred task of helping them navigate the complexities of life—including social media. By leaning into Scripture and staying engaged in their lives, we can help them use these platforms in a way that glorifies God and equips them for real-life relationships and responsibilities.